Online Negotiations: What We Gain, What We Lose, and How to Master Both

In my many years of negotiations, I've noticed something important about online (VCs, email, platforms..) negotiations. While we've all adapted to virtual deal-making, there's a deeper conversation we need to have about how it's fundamentally changing our negotiation dynamics.

Sometimes I have the feeling that the times when our account executive from the service provider met with us in person several times a year, when we had time to discuss personal and private issues in addition to the business aspects, are over. And only then did we go into the - often tough - conversations and negotiations. So often, even account executives from overseas came to meet us.

Yes, I think that was good and right and I miss it a bit. We often forget that procurement and negotiations are 90% based on interpersonal aspects and only about 10% are numbers, tactics etc.. Maybe you focus a little more on human relations when you're about to turn 50 🙂

But let's take a more structured and detailed look at this:

The Hidden Costs of Convenience

Let's be honest about what we're missing when we're not in the same room:

• Those spontaneous moments before and after meetings where real connections happen

• The natural flow of conversation that builds trust

• The shared experience of working through tough points together

• The subtle shift in body language when a point lands well

• The energy in the room during critical moments

• Those quick glances between team members that speak volumes

• We think we're building relationships because we can see faces

• But we're missing the natural rapport that comes from physical presence

• Small talk feels forced in scheduled video calls

• It's easier to be tough behind a screen

• We forget there's a human on the other end

• Emotional signals get lost in digital translation

But There Are Also Some Advantages

Online negotiations aren't all downside. See here:

1. Equal Conditions for All

   • Power dynamics feel different online

   • Less intimidation from fancy offices or physical presence

   • Focus shifts more to substance than style

2. Strategic Pauses

   • Time to think between emails or calls

   • Ability to consult with team members privately

   • Space to process information more thoroughly

3. Documentation Benefits

   • Everything can be recorded

   • Easier to track commitments

   • Clearer paper trail for follow-up in case of email negotiations and commitments

Making Online Relationships Work

Here's what in my opinion works:

1. Intentional Relationship Building

   • Schedule informal "coffee chats" before formal negotiations. Yes, it may seem a little difficult in our procurement world. But if we do it right, there is no risk at all. At the end of the day, we get paid for it.

   • Use the first 5-10 minutes for genuine personal connection

   • Follow up with personal notes or observations

   • Sometimes use your cell phone to discuss difficult things in person and build more trust

2. Creating Virtual Trust

   • Be extra transparent about processes

   • Acknowledge technical issues openly

   • Share more context than you might in person

Why Do We Prefer on Online Negotiations?

1. The Efficiency Obsession

   • Rushing through pleasantries

   • Scheduling back-to-back negotiations

   • Forgetting relationship maintenance

2. The Multi-tasking Illusion

   • Checking emails during calls

   • Losing focus during crucial moments

   • Missing subtle but important signals

Looking Forward

The future of negotiations will likely be hybrid - combining the best of both worlds. The key is not to fight this reality but to adapt to it. We need to:

• Build new skills for reading digital room dynamics

• Develop better ways to create trust online

• Find creative ways to maintain relationships virtually

I'm curious about your experiences. How do you maintain strong relationships in online negotiations?

What's been your biggest challenge in reading the virtual room?